Keith and Chemda discuss pit bulls, comedians killing the old-fashioned way, and used sex toys.

The 2022 KATGuh Award Nominations

It’s the final week of Chemda in the Dominican Republic, and she’s ready to talk about all the exciting fights that she’s been part of. Keith and Chemda also discuss Brandon Fraser’s The Whale and the 80th Golden Globe Awards. Thoughts and prayers to Kevin Costner.

Erin Maguire, fresh off her new album Baseline Presentable, joins KATG as a brand new guest, and you’ll fall in love. The trio discusses Jerry Seinfeld’s Kith photoshoot, Erin recording Harlequin Romance audiobooks, the endless death of Queen Elizabeth II, Britney Spears fat-shaming Christina Aguilera, and Merriam-Webster’s new words. No cap; this is straight bussin.

Betsy & Jack Helmuth return to KATG, and the gang discusses Leonardo DiCaprio splitting from his latest girlfriend for having the audacity to age over 25, Sharon Stone breaking up with her boyfriend after he demanded she get Botox, and Charlie Sheen settling a lawsuit with a woman he knowingly exposed to HIV. Also, and quite importantly, they teach you the best ways to test a relationship early on.

Listener favorite Shalewa Sharpe joins KATG to discuss finding love through phone scams. The trio also discusses more information that came out about the May 2022 Texas elementary school shooting including the 40 cops with weapons that waited for better equipped tactical officers to arrive. Actor Ray Liotta unexpectedly passed away in his sleep, Josh Duggar was sentenced to 12 years for possessing child porn, and Kevin Spacey was hit with 4 more counts of sexual assault in the U.K. while taking the stand in Manhattan for an unrelated sexual abuse case. Have a great Memorial Thing!

Jeff Meacham, longtime KATG friend and the new Planet Fitness spokesperson, discusses his kid party skills and Attention Deficit Disorder. Does Keith have it?! Emily Panic and Shelton Lindsay are in for the brain examinations. Emily shares her run-in with the law. Also, since we·re talkin·, how would your exes describe you? And shoutout to Max.

Beth Lapides joins KATG to discuss her new audiobook So You Need to Decide. The gang discusses AA, dumping your partner after your mother takes their kidney, and a newscaster getting hit by a car on air in front of an unempathetic news anchor in the studio. The trio also discusses the deaths of Meat Loaf and Louis Anderson!!!

Keith and Chemda are here for your listening pleasures. They discuss HBO’s Peacemaker, and Keith is simply giddy over the minute-and-a-half jokes they made regarding Louis C.K.’s sexual assaults. The duo also discusses smiling for mugshots and … you’re shitting me … The James Webb Telescope! HOLY FUCK! Also, they comment on Scream overtaking Spider-Man: No Way Home, and Chemda reviews Sex and the City’s And Just Like That… That’s the end of the sentence, and that’s the way the show is written. It was very deliberate. Anyway, they also talk about Keith’s new obsession: fast food murders. Do ya really wanna, do ya really wanna taste it?

The 2021 KATGuh Award Winners

The hilarious Hannah Boone joins Keith and Chemda to celebrate the Aumaud Arbery verdict, discuss Aaron Rodgers’ Covid Toe, and the new series Dopesick. They discuss Tucker Carlson’s “documentary” Patriot Purge, Kid Rock’s “song” Don’t Tell Me How to Live, and Louis C.K.’s 2021 Grammy nomination. In personal news, we learn about Hannah Boone’s after-relapse relationships, literally not being able to cry, and social media. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Up Early Tonight’s Abbi Crutchfield joins Keith and Chemda to discuss celebrity kids’ names, Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina being on fire, the law vs. psychicology, the wonder of ebikes, and lockjaw blowjobs. They chat about a deadly plane crash with a plane carrying a Will You Marry Me? sign, William Shatner’s journey into space, and the new bi-Superman. Carole Baskin is back for all you cool cats and kittens, and the trio talks about drinking your own pee vs. so-called clean toilet water.

Comedians Murf Meyer and Carrie Gravenson join KATG and discuss death as well as the losses of Norm Macdonald and Diane O’Debra.

KATG also discusses:
Keith expecting to die at camping Bingo
Depression and suicidal thoughts
The cause of Trevor Moore’s death
Liquor company CEO Ian Crystal fell to his death doing a flip on a Citi Field balcony
A man disguised himself and kidnapped his ex-wife so that he can save her and win her back
Brazil’s president told everyone in the country to buy a rifle to help the crime-ridden country

Keith and Chemda are here to cover Labor Week and all their various adventures. YAY! Britney is free, so of course now she’ll go and get married. Chemda had her first big outing since the pandemic started in beautiful … Atlantic City, and Keith met his girlfriend’s sister. The duo discusses President Biden’s vaccine mandate and their recent camping trip. Keith is the best poker player in town.

KATG also discusses:
Keith’s completely emptied out childhood home
9/11’s 20th anniversary
Hospital staff refusing to be vaccinated
Having to fire unvaccinated employees
Famous anti-vaxxers’ deaths
Jim Breuer vs. proof of vaccination
The United States vs. Texas over banning abortions

Queen Latifah is WHAT?! Anyway, Gamertag Radio’s Danny Peña (aka Godfree) joins KATG to go over his Hall of Fame inducted show’s history. Also, Keith reviews the latest The Fast and the Furious film: F9, has dinner with anti-vaxxers, and compares war video games to his training in the Army. Spoiler: they’re so similar! We also discuss the Times Square shooting involving the deadly world of CD selling.

It’s Gruber! With 32 years in the business, Dave joins KATG to talk about all things big and small — literally and figuratively: the size of Stars Hollow, the sentencing of Derek Chauvin, the prison hanging of antivirus software creator John McAfee, and Rudy Giuliani losing his New York license to practice law. The gang also talks about hippie lifestyles, Hollywood drug use, and the Grubers of the world.

Chemda gets another care package from the mom that isn’t talking to her, and Keith joins his siblings to visit his mom in assisted living with an extended cameo from his dad. New to KATG? Be sure to also visit KATG.com/DAD

Usama starts the show off with Keith and Chemda, and they get into the pitfall of Ladies and Gentlemen. It’s a tough one, folks, but we can do it, y’all. Usama talks about his America’s Got Talent controversy with Heidi Klum, his Bengali heritage and giving up med school to apartment squat and go into comedy, and what the COVID-19 pandemic has taught him. Then the gang discusses the May 2021 Israeli-Palestinian ceasefire. Also, more than 400 people have been charged following the U.S. Capitol breach while powerful republicans are spinning January 6, 2021 as a “normal tourist visit.” Then Vincient joins KATG in person, and the 3 of them discuss the blessings of jail, anger issues, crack, meth, racism, and the power of realizing your own ignorance.

The Kominsky Method’s Sarah Baker joins KATG to talk about the latest email from Tide Head and Shoulders Vincient, Keith’s dad’s savings bonds, and coming to life just before you die. She also shares some Hollywood stories, and Keith is probably looking up the special foundation makeup that the stars use as you read this.

Casey joins KATG to discuss Carole Baskin’s crypto-purr-ency, that second vaccination dose, a letter relating to Keith’s food frustrations with his lover, Adolf Hitler’s twisted sex life, Bill Gates’s meet-ups with his ex-girlfriend, and Keith’s dad reaching out again to Keith while denying ever writing those now infamously disgusting emails. Then we look in the past at Lori Loughlin taking karate classes to survive her 2-month sentence.

Dogecoin; Armie Hammer and Marilyn Manson; GOP Rep. Marjorie Tayor Green’s free time; Super Bowl LV, The Weeknd, the streaker, and the game of masks

Donald Trump remembered, Joe Biden’s impeachment, and Joe Exotic’s freedom

The 2020 KATGuh Award Winners

Best Fight: Ray Gootz - Chemda vs. The Gootz feat. Billy Procida
Best New Guest: Karen Morrow
Biggest Political Statement: Rod Morrow - Joe Biden Rocks Despacito
Most Romantic Moment: Joe DeVito - The 16 Women Fantasy Love Kumite
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Kyle Ocasio - Being a Mom
Most Ridiculous Moment: Carrie Gravenson - Keith’s Sense of Direction
Best Rant: Ken Malley - Ken’s Vegetarian Burger aka You ARE Gonna Take It

Contracting COVID-19; NBA’s Kyrie Irving attends maskless indoor party, loses at least $850,000; Armie Hammer, cannibal pervert

Bill Belichick turns down Trump’s Presidential Medal of Freedom, Trump’s second impeachment, major companies turn on republicans, and NYC cancels Trump contracts; COVID-19 U.S. deaths: 392,463 - 4,320 yesterday alone; Bruce Willis kicked out of Raid Aid for refusing to wear a mask

The 2020 KATGuh Award Nominations

Most Ridiculous Moment: Lori Loughlin Readies Herself For Prison; Carrie Gravenson - Keith’s Sense of Direction; Oscar! Oscar!; Danny Vega - April Fools During a Pandemic; Newsychu - Chemda the Firebug; Karen Morrow - Mom Shoots Wood Most

Heartbreaking Moment: Her Majesty vs. The Royal Horses; Micah Sherman - The Duke and Duchess of WHAT?!; Kyle Ocasio - Being a Mom; Benny Ocasio - Kobe and Gigi Bryant; MAtt Baer - The Diamond Dog Hat; Det. Mark DeMayo - Gun Play

Best Fight: Keith vs. His Dad; Ray Gootz and Wendi Starling - Chemda vs. The Gootz; Billy Procida - Chemda vs. Billy Best Rant: George Floyd, Bad Police, and Unrelatable Family; Chris Matthews and What CAN I Say?; Lindsay Goldwert - Chemda’s Lesson for Dads; Ken’s Vegetarian Burger aka You ARE Gonna Take It

Biggest Political Statement: VOTE!; Rod Morrow - Joe Biden Rocks Despacito; Rod and Karen Morrow - Conservatives Love Rules; Adam Brown and Craig Klein - Don Jr. Visits Mel’s in Somerset

Most Romantic: Paul Hooper and Myq Kaplan - Paul’s Other Two Wheels; The Attraction of Marilyn Monroe; Joe DeVito - The 16 Women Fantasy Love Kumite; Katharine Heller - Being Awake for Sports Illustrated

Holidays and the COVID-19 vaccine; suicide by cop civilian knows to wear a mask; KATGuh nominations; “Dr.” Jill Biden

Waiters eating your leftovers and KATG’s 100 for 30 stand-up shows; Lil ‘rona; Jessie Joyce vs. Rep. John Joyce; friends and money; Singer FKA twigs accuses Shia LaBeouf of sexual battery and assault; Jesse’s shirt isn’t purple

The COVID-19 Bat contracted coronavirus; Staten Island’s Mac’s Pub vs. virus restrictions/cops; acting like a statue to escape police; more undead; Chemda’s birthday card?; talking in your sleep

The Khalili siblings get together in celebration of Chemda’s 45th birthday

COVID-19, movers and shakers, the NFL, God's wrath, and the death of Darth Vader; Keith’s Thanksgiving turkey

x/4 becomes x/3; Foreigner’s orchestra; musicians' sexual appetites; childhood sexual assault; Ruth Bader Ginsburg died; 72nd Primetime Emmy Awards

Computer giggles; Honey Boy reviewed; Father Malley October death tricks; Iceland’s public scream therapy; 51-year-old Wendy Wein falls for RentaHitman.com; how to commit crimes safely; the largest library overdue-book fine; Bolivian boys provoke spider

All new The Ren & Stimpy Show; quarantine and L.A. anxiousness; Beirut, Lebanon’s ammonium nitrate explosion and Keith’s deadly school volcano; comic Bryan Callen rape allegation feedback; Ellen Degeneres celebrity accusers and defenders; 59-year-old Sean Penn married 28-year-old Leila George D'Onofrio; Trump campaign begins to believe masks work; McDonald’s requires masks in U.S.; Jake Paul’s FBI raid; Keith’s 12-year-old stepson’s life goals

OMAT’s tricks; the police and race; schools opening only to close; Kaporos; LA Times’ comedian Bryan Callen rape report; Alan Dershowitz wants the age of consent to be 15; Ellen executive producers’ sexual misconduct

Myka’s … sobriety?; COVID-19 misbehaving; MLB may shut down 2020 season; Dr. Fauci recommends goggles; human vaccination trial begins; Trump rally attendee Herman Cain died from the coronavirus; first COVID-19 dog died; Turning Point USA co-founder mo

Middle children and dating during a pandemic; Gilmore Girls; U.S. and COVID-19: 1,000 deaths in 1 day, Chuck Woolery, and coronavirus deniers; President Trump wishes Jeffrey Epstein’s Ghislaine Maxwell well; Trader Joe’s will remove racist branding; drugging animals and Chemda vs. Keith and Hugsy Malone

1/4 of NYC tenants went 4 months without paying rent; postal carrier changes people’s election ballots; WWE and COVID-19; President Trump vs. Black Lives Matter; Donald and Melania Trump statues burnt in Slovenia; Lady Antebellum offers to change their name to Lady A, then sues black artist already named Lady A; 26-year-old man swims in Bass Pro Shops' giant fish tank

Coronavirus: Over 10 million confirmed cases and over 500,000 dead; The Little Caesars Swastika Special; Trump protecting monuments, Mississippi flag to remove the Confederate part, and nixing John Wayne; daughter of state House candidate tweets not to vote for her dad; gun sales at an all time high; The Rolling Stones vs. President Trump; COVID-19 and your parents

Coronavirus risks; Officer Karen McMuffin, the not poisoned milkshakes, and cops crying discrimination; comedian Chris D’Elia, pedophile; Officer Karen’s audio

Staying sane and getting back to business; Tiger King expects to be dead in 2 to 3 months; Phase 1 dating

Summer House, dating, and Hollywood lovers; awkward live interactions; Fred Willard died

Robert Baccalieri Jr., Christopher Moltisanti, flip phones, and podcasts; celebrities' negative attitudes featuring Tiger Woods's horrible tipping and Ellen DeGeneres's bad reputation; Donald Trump vs. The Masks and the reopening of America; teachers vs. bouncers; celebrity attitudes revisited: Reggie Jackson, shrimp asshole, and Robert De Niro; how to make love; Pat Cooper's evil heart; Steve's wife, virtual dates, drugs, sex, and the generation gap

Missing sex, yearning for pee; 57-year-old Double Rainbow’s Paul Vasquez died from COVID-19; grill tricks; Seinfeld’s 17-year-old girlfriend

Working and loving from home; Corona beer’s #CincoAtHime campaign; Trump and Pence’s anti-mask stance; virtual comedy shows and Adam Sandler’s greatest movie

Keith’s dad, The Riddler, has taken us to an all new season of Cat’s Cradle: Season 3. This part of the year-long mega-saga features 6 entertainers and The Big Reveal.

Fake marriages and fake divorces; dating and new love; the KFC proposal; Tough Guys for Trump; Bernie Bros

U.S. Space Force’s camouflage uniforms and Uber’s murder report; Keith’s dad, mom, and the new year; tinnitus, pain pills, and Rush Limbaugh; Wendy Williams’s Fartgate; Ozzy Osbourne’s Parkinson’s disease; Carpool Karaoke’s tricks

Steak and Blow Job Day; bad photoshops, lying to your boss, CIA impersonations, and taking a driving test dressed as your mother; Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, and Megxit; 42-year-old woman runs over Mexican child for being Mexican; 59-year-old woman throw

Chemda, Xerxes, and Christmas; how to trick your family; Fitbit and cheaters; PlayStation 4 weighing scam; Keith’s Dad tried to be clever writing Keith; Roger Ailes and workplace conduct; Matt Lauer’s new love; Jeffrey Epstein’s moved body; Lori Lou

Myq Kaplan and Andrea Allan: The Dad Emails has its own devil’s advocates, and Myq and Andrea are here to show Keith the other side. Chemda explains the nature of monsters. Lucas Connolly: Keith debates what holiday is best to announce to his father the full true story. Should he send Dad sheet cakes with the emails on top? Fireworks? A singing telegram? A dick pic from her to him? Michael Khalili: Chemda’s brother joins us as a listener explains overcoming his father’s mental abuse. The gang discusses spousal enabling. Listener lizsquiz comes up with the next step, and it involves a clever way of being clear to Dad that Keith knows everything. Christian Finnegan: Though, for weeks, Father Malley hasn’t responded to Keith saying that he knows everything that’s been happening, Cat still reaches out to talk about Dad’s yummy birthday. The Hosts: Keith and Chemda discuss the latest. Oh God damn. “Glad to hear it is still all private.” Paul Hooper: Keith loves that people listen to these emails together. Cat’s Self Journals are dripping off the shelves. Juicy. The Christmas Fire Star and Daniel 9 are loved by fake-everyone! The Hosts: Cat comments about religion, marriage, and banging people stupid, and Dad breaks his silence to Keith by thanking him for a birthday gift. Keith and Cat then write Dad at the same time from their respective emails to behave. Shelton Lindsay: After Keith and Cat write the same words at the same time to Dad, Cat then sends Detective Father Malley exactly what Dad wrote to Keith. Now Dad knows. (Right?) Keith checks into a mental hospital.

Good news and bad news: Cat’s Cradle has been picked up for a second season! Also, the writers are ready to get extra stoopid. Here we go: 8 entertainers, 1 manipulative father, and listeners that are ready to choose Keith’s own adventure.

Comedians and politics; Jake vs. Homeland Security; Chemda’s potential calumny lawsuit; Gemini Man’s trailer and Will Smith’s career

The Odessa mass shooting and AR-type assault rifles; injustices, road rage, anger, and guns; Netflix and stand-up comedy; how to get rich quick

Keith as a parent; the Zac Efron/Ted Bundy biopic; Robert Pattinson will be the next Batman; Pete Townshend’s pedophilia book and Roger Daltrey’s weed allergy; Keith’s next step with his dad; Mother’s Day: the boyfriend vs. the kids; dating and di

Captain Marvel, Green Book, and speed dating; God’s plan for you; Chick-fil-A’s anti-LGBTQ donations

The 2018 KATGuh Award Nominations

Celibacy and positivity; unbelievable porn; abusive fathers; drunk history; 2019 Golden Globes

Chemda's vomitous knee; mending relationships; Baby, It’s Cold Outside; Sesame Street's homeless character; the 7-year-old multi-multi-millionaire YouTuber; confusing your separate social media accounts; Saturday Night Live, Donald Trump, and Pete Davidson's suicidal post

Dating, monogamy, and having over company; Keith’s sobriety update; the Thai cave children, the World Cup finals, and Croatians; the Emmy Awards has their first woman of Asian descent nominated for Lead Actress

Living alone; social media and significant others; Mother’s Day and Mom Jeans; Facebook’s dating app; Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s odd renewal; Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon vs. Governor Andrew Cuomo; The 24-Year-Old Virgin; the most extensive penis transplant yet

Marrying your friend since age 10; steroid use; anger issues; marijuana’s negative effects; the dangers of having children

with Rod Morrow – Florida school shooting reactions; Keith’s bad date; Black Panther reviewed with Rod from The Black Guy Who Tips; Keith’s good date

with Christi Chiello, Paul Hooper, and Tracey Carnazzo – Single and horny Christi and exhibitionist Paul discuss their lack of a romantic partner while Keith begins his search for love; Jerome walks in on Chemda squatting; Christi claimed Martin Luther King Jr. was her uncle; Paul claimed his twin was killed in a Christmas tree wrapping machine accident; Tracey’s grandma passed away (true) and her ex was pecked to death by wild turkeys (not true)

The 2017 KATGuh Award Nominations

T.J. Miller’s violent sexual assault allegations; Hota Kotb replaces Matt Lauer on Today; local restaurant tapes negative Yelp comments on their bathroom walls; Keith and Park Avenue LASEK’s Dr. Chynn; doctor reuses disposable anal catheters

with Bowen Yang – The code-switching of naturalized Americans; Jackie Chan vs. Chuck Norris; the Chinese language; golden vs. platinum gays; artist/fan relationships

with Kat Burdick – Transgender family members; Chemda’s 1-year tumor anniversary; footballer protesting and Donald Trump’s non-support of Puerto Rico; Keith’s love of the film Wind River has him explaining the plight of Native Americans; American Made and Flatliners reviewed; Marilyn Manson’s giant stage prop falls on him while performing

Donald Trump's inauguration; Chemda health update and medical transphobia; KATG Best Spinoff Episode and Best Flavor of the Month nominees

with Kelly Fastuca – Touring Australia; how to be a waiter; The Rock shits on his male Fast 8 costars; 2016 Rio Olympics update

with Kerryn Feehan – Roast battles; restaurant settlements; Keith’s family tree; Selma Blair apologizes; Ilana Glazer calls out man who claims he writes for Broad City; a freelance sperm donator’s saga; Spanish teacher plays unrelated horror films for his students; gun shop owner killed during gun safety class; a Tennessee congressional candidate’s white nationalism platform; Kerryn on My Big Fat Fabulous Life and Ink Master

with Libby Phillips – Libby’s sexual reawakening and stolen purse; Stanford rapist Brock Turner; The Conjuring 2; the director of The Exorcist taped a real life exorcism; knife-wielding robber falls asleep on the job; Keith’s restaurant mishaps; hospital worker dies at work masturbating; 39-year-old attempts to take 73-year-old mother’s driving test; the problem with popsicles

with Andrea Allan and Emily Lubin – Muhammad Ali; Inside KATG; the intelligence of dogs; Andrea’s cancer Cat update

with Anthony DeVito and Katy Olson – The diploma frame conspiracy; Hillary Clinton has Bernie Sanders’ Facebook groups deleted; Keith responds to an angry listener upset about his politics; man robs $7,000 and a monkey from his wife to pay a prostitute; plaintiffs suing Ashley Madison must go public; ex-fiancée cancels wedding but demands to keep $30,000 engagement ring; Keith and Street Fair Season; PA state rep. hires actors at polling stations; female Ted Cruz lookalike performs porn; OK Cupid matched Katy with the Cannibal Cop

with Murf Meyer and Diana Kolsky – Murf tries out for a legit baseball team; being addicted to heroin; the problems with the Liberty Bell; KATG polls; Andrew Dice Clay’s new show ‘Dice’; sperm bank misrepresents a donor who is a schizophrenic felon; Tom Brady’s 4-game suspension; Johnny Manziel dropped by his team, his agent, and charged with assault; Curt Schilling fired by ESPN for his anti-trans views; Cruz and Kasich work together against Trump; Michael Khalili likes Clinton over Trump while Keith disagrees; Clinton spends $1 million on Internet trolls to attack Bernie Sanders’ supporters

with Kevin Barnett – Ass-play and the presidential candidates; Ben Carson says Obama isn’t really black; Bill O’Reilly loses custody; 18-year-old fake senator; 18-year-old fake doctor; hoverboard explosions and Russell Crowe’s ire; 40% of molly co

with James Adomian

with Doug Stanhope

with Marc Maron

with Kevin Barnett

"We need the sincerity that God has placed within your wonderful being. Interested?"

"She just broke his dick! She just broke his dick!"