"This is the soundtrack to the inside of a stroke or a coma. This is what goes on in your head."

"I decided to take my life a different route."

"Sounds like somebody slept with the wrong person."

"Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to this."

"Good morning. You're dumb!"

"Do you think I'm not gonna mind prison? I fuck dogs!"

"We'd appreciate it, ladies, if you tickled these twos guys' balls as you were doin' it."

"That's how Keith has sex. See that, kids?"

"We shoulda kissed your ass a little more."

"You start at the face, and then you negotiate."

"...with a joker smile and hot smelly-ass balls slapping against my body repeatedly."

"Fuck you, I quit!"

"TheSimpsonsMovie.com"

"Now I want to freeze your finish to see what the fuck it tastes like."

"Did you invite me out to not have a good time?"

"What the fuck, dude? That is gay. Of course your wife left you. That is stupid."

"Patrice is crazy bad-ass tonight. I'm gonna have nightmares."

"It is fuckin' torture to have shit in my brain that I can't share. I gotta fuckin' spill out every mother-fuckin' thing."

"You were so fat! What happened? You were so fat!"

"He's gonna do whatever I say."