"That's offensive to balls!"

"I always walk behind you and go, 'That was a joke. And he's just funny.'"

"Who gets up this early? Honestly."

"Dice is an Angel of God."

"Abracadabra; all that shit."

"That is not our policy to call you a bitch dog."

"If it's more than five dollars, it's pretentious."

"How do we get gotten on such a dumb fuckin' thing?"

"Go 'head, Keith. Get your balls back."

"Why would they want, Andrea? That is correct. Why would they want? How could that help us in any way? It can't! It can't help us in any way!"

"Remember when you snooped through their shit? Well, they're snoopin' through your shit! Hide the sex toys!"

"If you're gonna lose your house to some game: FullTiltPoker.com."

Shoulda been there.

"I have simulated herpes."

"Old enough that I should've said, 'Stop pulling my dick.'"

"I wish we could say more. I can't wait until the day when we go, 'You know what? We don't need friends.' That is gonna be a good show."

"Oh that's so funny that you mentioned it cause it's the first time that I brought beer and that's when we mentioned it."

"When I do post, I type it in Notepad first so I don't click 'send' by accident and get my ass handed to me."

"So what about me? Lick a Twat Tuesday."

"God sounds like Fat Jani Lane."

"Speaking of drugs, this is part of Clown Monday..."