"Mark, you have the biggest balls..."

"Can't one person shake me, the other person yell BOO!, and then take a hundred dollars? Then I have the rest of my day free."

"I will probably not listen to your show again - DAMMIT! - based on your ignorance and insensitivity regarding BLANK."

"I'm being sabotaged at home."

"Just real fast: cockandballs. It's fun."

"Every word you said in English was a polite word. It's like Hebrew didn't have nice words."

"And I'm just disappointed, like I didn't get to show my sister a freak, you know?"

"I'm no longer watching. You're gonna have to tell me what's happening."

"...and Ron Weasley fucks the chick in the ass."

"Way to take a stand on something, French."

"Was she like: 'Whoa, it just came to me. That's fuckin' gross. I will not do it again. I just realized what I was doing.'"

"I'm all for making people cry."

"Womenfolk are gone, bitches. 2. 3. 4."

"Congratulations to Amy Miller, you fuckin' hog."

"Yes, absolutely. I would punch a woman."

"If all I did was swim, and I didn't have to do anything else, I think I could win a gold."

"'Do you know how to make a flower?' They saw me making flowers all day. 'No.' 'Yes you do!' 'Then why are you asking?'"

"Sometimes I'll find something on the ground, and I'm not sure what it is, so I'll put it in my mouth to figure it out. Sometimes it's not food, but it usually is food."

"God bless white people!"